Assertiveness

Are you someone who likes to try to please everyone? Perhaps you like to try to keep the peace? Or is might be that you feel you cannot handle confrontation.

If any or all of these statements are true about you it means that you swallow down your thoughts and opinions. You end up not pleasing yourself and despite keeping the peace for others you do not keep any for yourself.

Everyone has a right to their own thoughts, feelings and opinions and to be able to express them in an assertive manner.

It can also be really difficult not to take criticism personally, especially if we have been criticised in a negative manner in the past, which has instilled a feeling of not being good enough.

It might be that the person offering the criticism is actually trying to help, but because we already have the feeling of not being good enough planted inside, it is so easy to focus only on the negative.

We can find ourselves going over and over in our minds what we could or should have said.

Being assertive can help us to respond to criticism in a healthier controlled manner in the moment.

It gives us the tools to be able to listen objectively to criticism and to consider if what is being said to us is true, not true or partly true. Responding in this way allows us to see any positives which might be present in the feedback and to lessen the feeling that we are just being “got at.”

Being assertive enables us to be able to “say no” and not feel guilty about it. It keeps us calm and rational and gives an ability to say when something is not OK.

It is quite common for people to mix up being assertive and being aggressive. Some people believe that the only way they will be heard is to shout, leaving them feeling angry and out of control.

Being able to speak calmly and assertively gives you a better chance of being heard by the person you are interacting with and keep’s you much more in in control of your emotions.

Hypnotherapy can help to alter the way your unconscious mind responds to situations, lessening any anxiety about confrontation, enabling you to become the assertive person you want to be.